Revenge of the Nerds

UNIVERSAL REMOTE

My absolute favorite entertainment-related story this year is the Star Wars, Nerds Lining Up Three Months Early at the Wrong Theater in L.A, story. If you haven't heard, there is a group of George Lucas diciples lining up for Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith at the World Famous Grauman's Chinese Theater. Lining up months early has become a tradition with this particular generation of Star Wars fans ever since the release of the execrable Episode I in 1999. They try to justify themselves by saying they are raising money for charity but we all know what they are really doing is showing off to all the other Star Wars fans in the world. They want everyone to know that their light-sabers are the biggest.

Well, after a couple of weeks living on the sidewalks, they received the unsettling news that Episode III will not be playing at Grauman's but instead at a rival theater a few miles down the road. Faced with an embarrassing situation, the Nerds did my favorite thing of all. They refused to leave. So now it's been a month, the movie still is not scheduled to play at Grauman's, and like unwanted guests, they are still there. Talk about Waiting for Godot.

Funny enough, the whole debacle has actually made them Bigger Nerds than they were before. The mainstream media (CNN/AP, BBC News, The Sun) picked up on the story and now they are world famous. Howard Stern has even been getting regular reports. And still the Nerds cling to hope. They claim that there is still no decision yet about where the movie will premiere even though all parties from the two theaters and 20th Century Fox (which is distributing the film) say the deal is done.

Blogging.la has the best rundown on the whole circus and is worth a look if you like to point at crazy people and laugh at them. (Personally, I feel no guilt in doing this because the Nerds are in a situation entirely of their own making.) Sean at Blogging.la has actually spent a couple nights on line and just posted a list of 17 things he's learned from the Nerds. For my money, the best is #5:

The cops think it's funny to drive by and make Darth Vader breathing noises on their loud speakers.

Apparently, the Nerds don't like this. (I think it's awesome.)

As strange and slightly scary was for me to watch all those Catholics in the Vatican lining up for three days to see the body of Pope John Paul II, this Star Wars thing is even more bizarre. At least JPII was good at being a Catholic. George Lucas is not good at making movies. Don't the Nerds know this? Didn't they see the last two films? Have they all forgotten about Jar Jar?!?