Don't Mess with Mahoney

UNIVERSAL REMOTE

Steve Guttenberg, everyone's least favorite 80s star, tells it like it is and it is hilarious. The guys over at HBO should sign him up to play himself on Entourage, bro.

You had a string of hits in the 1980s. What have you been up to lately?
There are 100,000 actors in the Screen Actors Guild. Only 2,000 of them make more than $75,000 (£42,000) a year. That means 98,000 actors make less than $75,000 a year. From 1980 to 1990, I shot more films than any other actor in the Screen Actors Guild apart from Gene Hackman. Everyone keeps asking me that stupid question: "What are you doing?" I say: "Why do I need to do anything? I'm rich." Do you want me to be poor again? Do you want me to go back to making tomato soup out of ketchup and water? Or would you like me to be a multimillionaire and be rewarded for all the entertainment I gave you for all those years? I'm enjoying life now. If I was a plumber and I'd done the most plumbing jobs between 1980 and 1990, everyone would be saying: "What a great plumber" - he says "f**k you to the world and he's enjoying himself." But for some reason, as an actor, you're not allowed to say: "I'm f**king rich, bro."

If you're so rich, why do you work at all any more?
I love the fame and the money and the power. You have to keep working to have that. Listen to Hugh Grant. He freaking hates acting but he still works to have the money, fame and power. If he didn't work, they'd forget about him - and when he arrived at a restaurant, a new Hugh Grant would have the best table. Fame, money and power: that's why people become actors, directors or producers. They love the juice. I don't care who you are. I'm sure if you dig deep, Joe and Ralph Fiennes do it because they want to be noticed. It's great to see people liking my work but [sigh] I'm just saying what the truth is.

Thanks, it makes a change.
I'm not going to say "I'm an actor and I'm changing the world." Ewan McGregor - who cares? God bless you, Ewan, you're cute and adorable but just do your job. Jude Law, Sean Penn, any of these guys, they'll tell you they're not doing it for free.