Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Checkmate?

MANIFESTO

If Prime Minister of Iraq wasn’t the worst job in the world already, it’s getting closer by the hour. One of the stronger domestic political players just upped the ante and shrewdly leveraged the growing rift between Baghdad and Washington. Anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr convinced 30 Iraqi Members of Parliament and 6 Ministers loyal to his party to walk away from the Maliki Government in protest to his meeting with W.

Now that Al-Maliki has been publicly humiliated by the White House he doesn’t have many places left he can turn for support. Al-Maliki knows that not only is the US looking towards the exits, but seems poised to invite Iran in. Option one is to ignore domestic pressures and reconcile with the despised and seemingly soon to depart American Occupational Authority. The second is to turn to the populist Shia cleric who heads the political party necessary to keep the ruling coalition intact, has his own militia, and is closely aligned with Iran. If self-preservation is an instinct Al-Maliki possesses, something tells me it will be the latter.

Will this elevate Al-Sadar to the status of king maker and radically shift the balance of power within the Iraqi government closer to total Shia control? If so, it doesn’t bode well for American troops on the ground or the prospect of ending sectarian violence and creating a secular democracy.

Ready for Battle

MANIFESTO

As a card-carrying liberal, can someone let me know when this year's War on Christmas starts? I need to make sure I have my armor and weaponry all shiny and ready to go.

Thanks!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Coalition of the Not So Willing…

MANIFESTO

I didn’t realize how much things have changed since I went to Sunday-school, but in the spirit of the season: after a dispute with the board of directors the president elect of the Christian Collation, the Reverend Joel C. Hunter, has decided not to take the job. In a statement picked up by CNN Hunter said he wanted to expand the focus of the group “to include compassion issues such as poverty, justice, and creation care." Hunter’s Logic? “We need to care as much for the vulnerable outside the womb as inside the womb." According to Hunter "After initial willingness to consider these changes, the board of the CCA decided, 'that is fine, but that is not who we are."

God rest ye merry, gentlemen.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Weekend Summary

Whatever

Spent last night at my 10 year high school reunion. The more things change ... Sadly, it was nothing like the reunion in Grosse Pointe Blank. That said, the following exchange fairly accurately summarizes my feelings about the whole affair:
Marcella: You know, when you start getting invited to your ten year high school reunion, time is catching up.
Martin Blank: Are you talking about a sense of my own mortality or a fear of death?
Marcella: Well, I never really thought about it quite like that.
Martin Blank: Did you go to yours?
Marcella: Yes, I did. It was just as if everyone had swelled.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

How about No, OK?

SPORTING GOODS

Once again, the good Boston writers are again hoping that their favorite whipping boy Manny Ramirez will be traded.

I agree with Surviving Grady:
I understand that you want me to get all hot and bothered over the fact that, to paraphrase your words, Manny doesn't like Boston, Manny doesn't like us fans, Manny hates all of his teammates and regularly spikes their thermoses with Fiber-Con, and Manny is coming over to my place later tonight to kick me in the jimmy.

But the fact is, you ain't gonna change my mind, no matter how hard you try. Because I believe that if Manny leaves, this team becomes a little less lovable, a lot less entertaining, and I'm not even gonna get into replacing that consistent production at the plate. So please -- channel your energies elsewhere.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

My AL MVP ballot

SPORTING GOODS

Yes, I may need to turn in my Red Sox Nation ID card, as I voted for Jeter in the Baseball Prospectus fan balloting.

Unlike the NL MVP voting, I don't expect that the actual results will follow too closely with what I've got here. Dye will be much higher, I'm sure, with guys like Thomas/Guillen/Manny probably lower. Who do you think deserves it?

Derek Jeter
Joe Mauer
David Ortiz
Justin Morneau
Frank Thomas
Manny Ramirez
Carlos Guillen
Jim Thome
Johan Santana
Jermaine Dye

edited to add: Morneau wins, Jeter comes in 2nd. I was right about Dye, he came in 5th, and was wrong about Thomas, they actually put him 4th - but Manny gets shafted and doesn't make the top 10. Basically, Manny and Thome were replaced by Vlad and Hafner. I disagree with that.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Carlos the 4th

SPORTING GOODS

While I enjoy ripping moron radio men / writers for their individual opinions on the MVP race, I try not to get too worked up about the actual voting. (But don't get me started on the ridiculous Gold Gloves!)

Anyway, the NL MVP has been announced, and Carlos Beltran finished 4th, getting only one 2nd place vote. My reasoned and of course brilliant August post on why Beltran deserved the MVP was somewhat outdated by the time the season ended, as Beltran cooled off considerably. The Mets had it wrapped up by then anyway. But it seemed that the only people still on the Beltran for MVP bandwagon were hardcore defensive stat geeks, who could show you just how good Beltran was, and how lousy Howard was, in the field this year.

Oh well, Howard it is, at least he is fun to watch.

I voted in the Baseball Prospectus fan awards, here's who I voted on my MVP ballot, and where they actually finished.

1 Albert Pujols (2)
2 Carlos Beltran (4)
3 Ryan Howard (1)
4 Miguel Cabrera (5)
5 Jose Reyes (7)
6 Lance Berkman (3)
7 Alfonso Soriano (6)
8 David Wright (9)
9 Chase Utley (8)
10 Mike Cameron (21)

Besides Cameron, who had a vastly under-rated year, I was mostly just 1 or 2 spots off on each player, so all in all it seems that I was in relative agreement with the writers.

But can someone explain to me how this year's Cy Young Brandon Webb did not get a single point, and therefore did not finish in the top 25, yet Trevor Hoffman came in 10th with 46 points? That's just strange.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Who are these guys?

SPORTING GOODS

If anyone caught UConn's opening b-ball game on Friday night, you probably saw a group of fantastic athletes that don't shoot particulcarly well, and who don't seem to have any cohesion.

They were lucky to hold on to beat Quinnipiac, doing it on sheer will and athleticism, but as I watched I kept waiting for guys that I know to check into the game.

Eventually I stopped waiting.

Here are the guys who returned from last year:
Jeff Adrien
Craig Austrie
Marcus Johnson (no, not Williams)
Rob Garrison
Ben Spencer
Marty Gagne

So basically 3 guys who got any sort of minutes last year, and only one who was meaningfully contributing by year's end. They've got some fantastic freshmen, including a 7'3" beast who will be very fun to watch. And they finally have A.J. Price, who I think is pushing 30 at this point. Insert laptop joke here, but don't forget this guy also redshirted a year to injury/life-threatening illness even before that.

It should be fun to watch this team grow and get better as a team. It will definitely be one of Calhoun's finer accomplishments if he can have this team competing for the Big East title and getting to the Sweet 16 and beyond.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Typed on my Hemp Keyboard

UNIVERSAL REMOTE

For those of you who foolishly went to bed on Tuesday night rather than wait for Election Results while watching the live Daily Show / Colbert Report, here is the transcript of Colbert's rant as he sullenly called the House for the Democrats / Cowards:

So I guess I am going to have to call this thing for the Democrats. (sarcastic) Woo-hoo! The people have spoken…and apparently they are tired of freedom. Don't get me wrong, I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed. I thought this country would last longer than 230 years.

That's it folks, America is over. At this point, we might as well just give it back to the g***amn Indians. We'll see how they deal with foreign enemies bent on their destruction.

Here is your cake terrorists, there you go, enjoy! (shows cake that says 'Congratulations Terrorists' with Osama holding a bomb). Mmmmmm. Tastes like surrender.

Jimmy you might as well get those subtitles going (Arabic appears on screen). There you go, get used to these. And you know what, we should probably throw a burka over Meg while we're at it.

You know what gets me? You know what gets me? Democrats didn't even win this thing, the Republicans lost it. They ran away from the President. 'Hey, the ship's in trouble, let's drown the captain!' We were this close to having Jesus come back, and you Republicans who turned your back on the President are going to wander in the desert for the next two years. Literally. Someone is going to have to replace those troops in Iraq.

And don't think you're off the hook, voters, you are the ones who made this bed. Now you're the ones who are going to have to move over so a gay couple can sleep in it.

Tomorrow you are going to wake up in a brave new world. A world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones created in a stem cell research lab, run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax and spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio, and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh….and everybody's high! Woooo!

You know what, Ive had it! You people don't deserve a Republican majority. Screw this, I quit!

Possibly the funniest 4 minutes in television I've seen in years, but maybe it was enhanced by the giddiness I was feeling over the election results.

Oh, and don't worry. Mr. Colbert immediately cheered up when he realized that he could start blaming the Democrats for how the Iraq war is going.

Henny Penny, the Sky Fell

MANIFESTO

Did Donald Rumsfeld really "resign," or was he pushed out of the door? It's hard to know the un-knowable.
Was he the worst Secretary of Defense ever? That's a big statement.
Was he the worst of my lifetime? I have little doubt.
Is the book he writes about this whole mess going to be laughable? Certainly.
Is anyone going to miss this guy's abilities? No.
Will I miss his ridiculous press conferences? A little bit.

(apologies to O who I used a somewhat similar, somewhat cruder bit with yesterday)

PS - don't miss Monocle's longer post from last evening, which is slowly falling down the page

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

First Tuesday in November...

MANIFESTO

There was something I was supposed to do today. I knew what it was last night, enough to leave out my Hillary t-shirt to wear under my blue button down shirt....but now it's completely gone from my mind.

Oh well, I'm sure it wasn't important.

Monday, November 06, 2006

The most annoying sound in the world

UNIVERSAL REMOTE

Why does Chevy hate football fans?
From the east coast
To the west coast
Down the Dixie Highway
Back home
This is our country
Even internet radio doesn't repeat commercials this often. Good luck getting it out of your head the rest of the day...

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Pulling a Kerry

SPORTING GOODS

Al Trautwig just now, on the NYC Marathon telecast, to a sideline reporter who had correctly called the top finishers in the wheelchair divisions:
"You've done a really good job handicapping this race."
Nice choice of words Al. I feel like people have been fired for less?