And another one bites the dust

MANIFESTO

HUD chief Alphonso Jackson's resignation really isn't worthy of comment except to say that the US can only hope that the next administration chooses department and agency heads that are more than incompetent toadies.

115,300

SPORTING GOODS

A new attendance record for a single baseball game was set yesterday.

Baseball fans came out in record numbers to watch the Los Angeles Dodgers play the Boston Red Sox in an exhibition game at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum on Saturday. Some 115,300 paid to see World Series champion Boston beat Los Angeles 7-4 at the stadium where the Dodgers played from 1958 to 1961.

Cripes. No wonder you can't get tickets to Fenway if this many people want to see them in a ballpark that isn't even their own.

Bush's War

UNIVERSAL REMOTE

I taped the Frontline two-parter, "Bush's War," last week, not thinking that I'd find in it anything I didn't already know or sense. Indeed, after watching the first half yesterday, I find that to be the case with one exception: The infighting and turf wars between the departments of Defense (represented by Cheney and Rumsfeld) and State (represented by Powell and Tenet) were apparently such that poor clueless George, stuck in the middle, really never knew whether he was coming or going. (And the person who should've helped him figure all this out, National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, was of no help.) Ultimately, Cheney ruled, and we see the disastrous results to this day. It's clear from the presentation who the real POTUS has been for the last seven years.

On a related note, I finished Still Broken last night. I can't recommend it highly enough.

Rebate, schmebate

MANIFESTO

I see that the Harvard MBA is talking up tax rebates again. As he sees them, they'll "help give our economy a shot in the arm."

Apparently, the fundamental purpose of the rebates is to goose consumer spending, which accounts for two-thirds of the nation's economy. Currently, consumer spending is flat, but those in the know are hopeful that

"the real telling part of consumer spending will come in May and June."

That's when Americans receive their tax refunds and tax rebate checks that are part of the government's $168 billion stimulus package. The effect of the Fed's interest rate cuts, which act with a lag of about six months to a year, will also start to kick in.

I'm really of two minds on this. I suppose it'll be good that people will have more to spend, but I've heard for the past number of years that Americans don't save enough. If this is the case, won't the additional spending that the Bushies anticipate be counterproductive? I don't know the answer to the question; I raise it so that those with more economic acumen than I can respond.

Nevertheless, the former major stockholder of Harken Energy continues to believe that tax rebates and more tax cuts will help the struggling economy even though such strategies have already been shown to bring about the problems the nation is encountering today.

And, as is his wont, Gorgeous George is going to use the current problem to create even more by

proposing a sweeping overhaul of the nation's financial regulatory system, combining what is now an alphabet soup of government agencies into three streamlined regulators.

The proposal is the result of a year of study by Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson Jr. and has the support of the president, according to Treasury officials who spoke on condition of anonymity Friday.

Under the administration's plan, which will be released in detail Monday, the Federal Reserve would get expanded power to promote stability in financial markets.

The Securities and Exchange Commission and a handful of other federal agencies -- all formed in the Great Depression or earlier -- would be restructured and have their responsibilities redefined.

Oversight of the mortgage industry would be stepped up, and states could lose some of their authority to regulate banks.

Stuff like this really beggars belief. The very entity—the FOMC—that unleashed the hounds to get this housing/mortgage fiasco started is now being called upon to ensure that such a debacle doesn't occur again. Bernanke has already shown that he has no idea how to oversee a situation such as we're in. To make him the guard dog for future problems is ludicrous—but all too typical. Concurrently, the SEC, which in better times has actually shown it can protect small investors is to be merged with the Commodity Futures Trading Commission! Unbelievable.

Call me naive, but I can't believe the legislature will let these idiotic ideas go anywhere.

UPDATE — The New York Times reacts to the plan here.

Ch- Ch- Ch- Changes

SPORTING GOODS

For those interested in where the disappointing UConn men's basketball program is headed, take a look here. Among the highlights:

[Coach Jim] Calhoun said some players have not met the academic and social responsibility standards he calls for and that overall change and commitment to what he calls the UConn "basketball culture" is needed for the program to live up to the lofty standards it set with national championships in 1999 and 2004.

"So if you see any movement within our roster, which, I'm telling you right now, you will ..." Calhoun said. "Speculate all you want [about which players], but I think most of it will become pretty evident in the next week or two. ... We will have a minimum of four scholarships for next year. We feel that life doesn't begin and end on the court. It's how we show ourselves as a basketball program.

"I do think we need a little bit of action to make the point to everybody where we are. What transpires over the next month or two will help everybody. On our side, we have made our mind up on a couple of situations. ... None of these things are written in stone, but the chisel is ready to start doing that."

Calhoun's point is that the program and some of its players might be better off without one another.

I wouldn't be surprised to see Thabeet go to the NBA, and with seven(!) guards on the roster, something's got to give. The truth is that Calhoun, and UConn fans for that matter, were terribly spoiled with Ben Gordon and Emeka Okafor in 2004—two upstanding team players and citizens if ever there were any. It's never easy to replace that kind of player under any circumstances, but, reading between the lines, it looks like that's exactly what Calhoun (with his concern for the university's "basketball culture") would like to do.

Timing is everything

SLEAZE

So on the day when Pfizer (and millions of men) celebrated the tenth anniversary of Viagra's introduction, a 61-year-old vice president in the company's patent office has been arrested for

receiving, distributing and possessing child pornography ... posing as a 28-year-old female while trading hundreds of images of children engaged in sexual acts.

He allegedly traded the images with a man from Buffalo, N.Y., while chatting with him online between June 2006 and May 2007.

The images that come to mind regarding this juxtaposition of events are too repulsive even to refer to.

Just when you think you've heard it all ...

MANIFESTO

DarLucky may be too old to become an arms dealer for the Bushies, but a twentysomething like Chill may be ok.

Poppies - and I don't mean David Ortiz

MANIFESTO

While the chaos continues in Iraq these days, it's also disheartening to note how Afghanistan has retreated to the abyss. Specifically,

Afghanistan's annual opium crop is expected to rival last year's record yield to exceed a staggering 8,000 metric tons, or more than 90 percent of global production, according to a U.N. survey released in February, with the bulk being grown in Taliban strongholds.

The crop has become so important to Afghanistan that much of the country's violence can be ascribed to its harvest.

In their typical half fast way, the Bushies have tried to dovetail the war on drugs with the war on terror, and they're being routed in both.

John McCain's Foreign Policy

MANIFESTO

I can't say I'm particularly impressed with John McCain's latest attempt to have it both ways.

In yesterday's foreign policy address, Arizona's senior senator (Interpret that designation any way you wish.)

promised a collaborative foreign policy that would seek the input of allies abroad and would contrast sharply with the go-it-alone approach of the Bush administration ...

In a speech to the World Affairs Council in Los Angeles, McCain called himself a "realistic idealist" and outlined a worldview mirroring that of some Bush administration critics, who say the first task of the next president must be to repair relations around the world.

"Today we are not alone," McCain said. "Our great power does not mean we can do whatever we want whenever we want, nor should we assume we have all the wisdom and knowledge necessary to succeed."

Indeed, the senator didn't mention Feckless Leader's name once, instead referring to fine Democrats such as Kennedy and Truman as exemplars.

Nevertheless, while insisting that he's not in the Bush "If you're not with us, you're against us" camp (also known as the FY school of politics), Senator Hundred Year War made it plain that the Iraq occupation wouldn't be ending on his watch, stating that

the continued U.S. presence there is a "moral responsibility" and that a "reckless" withdrawal would be an "unconscionable act of betrayal, a stain on our character as a great nation ...

"Those who argue that our goals in Iraq are unachievable are wrong, just as they were wrong a year ago when they declared the war already lost in Iraq. Those who claim we should withdraw from Iraq in order to fight al-Qaeda more effectively elsewhere are making a dangerous mistake."

So here's how I read it: He's willing to "collaborate" with old Europe and other allies on some issues, but anything having to do with Iraq (and, one assumes, Afghanistan) is off the table.

And this is different from the nonsensical policy the Bushies have followed, how?

Oh, and BTW, does anyone else hear an echo of the horrid "compassionate conservative" in McCain's "realistic idealist" linguistic somersault?

UPDATE — Glenn Greenwald expands on the above here.

Can We Be Done with This Now?

Enough

MANIFESTO

I can't stand this.

For the record:

It is a mis-statement to say you ran from sniper fire in Bosnia when it was really, say, Serbia or South Central.

It is a lie to say you ran from gunfire when you never ever in recorded history ran from gunfire.

And the difference is not a "minor blip."

IT IS A LIE.

By any standard.

Even though she was never my girl, I used to tell people Hillary would be unbeatable because she would never let the GOP swift-boat her. Now I truly believe she would lose by ten points, minimum. The Republicans could have a website called "What's Hillary Lying About Today?" and half of their posts would be accurate. I mean, she is habitual.

The biggest reason I've been for Obama is I think he is the one most likely to bring reconciliation to Washington and the country. One of his most admirable qualities is that he doesn't root around in the mud like most politicians. But this is one time I wish he would leave his manners at the door and just call bullshit.

I don't usually put a lot of stock in David Brooks, but his 3/25 column "The Long Defeat" sums up everything I've been feeling for the last few weeks. For the first time, I'm feeling what my Republican friends said they felt when the Clintons were in the White House. There is nothing they won't do to grab power. There is no one they won't sully or destroy. No one is safe from their kitchen sink. Even if they only have a five percent chance of winning the nomination.

I would actually consider not voting this November if Hillary is our nominee. (I would never vote for McCain.) Put me down as undecided about it.

E-3

SPORTING GOODS

I see that Jose Canseco's latest opus implies that the venerable Alex Rodriguez used steroids. Ho hum. Just another example that Sr. Cantsayno just can't say no to accusing anyone for anything in order to sell books.

Meanwhile, the tenacious solons in Washington are once again all over the Roger Clemens issue. Viz.,

The partisan drama surrounding Roger Clemens erupted again Tuesday, when the Republican representative that signed the letter referring the baseball pitcher for a perjury investigation condemned Democrats for an accompanying summary that "reads like an advocate's brief or prosecutorial indictment of Roger Clemens."

Rep. Tom Davis (R-Va.), the top Republican on the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, said he had not concluded that Clemens lied when he denied under oath that he used steroids or human growth hormone.

"Did Roger Clemens lie to us?" Davis said in a statement. "Some of the evidence seems to say he did; other information suggests he told the truth. It's a far more complicated picture than some may want to believe."

It's too much to ask these morons to actually attend to something that, you know, matters. Case in point: The FISA legislation still languishes while Congress gets all hot and bothered about a 45-year-old has been.

Eureka!

ESOTERICA

Holy smokes! I think I just (quite accidentally) may have found a way to work around the firewall, so I may be able to post during the workday.

Life in these United States

MANIFESTO

For decades the fulsomely optimistic Reader's Digest has featured a column entitled "Life in These United States," a cloying collection of feel good stories about the wonderful citizenry of the republic.

I would submit the following, which, to my mind, really demonstrate what life in these United States is currently like.

First, as everyone certainly knows by now, US fatalities in Iraq hit 4,000 today. While GI George insists that ultimately they won't have died in vain, he also stated (through the congenitally impaired Dana Perino) that he (who so yearns to have fought in the current conflict)

definitely feels the loss. He gets a report about every single soldier who passes away, and he always pauses a moment to think about them and to offer a prayer for their loved ones and their family and friends.

Apparently that's all the cannon fodder is worth to Feckless Leader—a moment. Lord knows he'd never lower himself to attend any of their funerals.

And here's another tidbit regarding LITUS:

According to Merrill Lynch, at the end of 2007, "36 percent of consumers’ disposable income went to food, energy and medical care, a bigger chunk of income than at any time since records were first kept in 1960."

Health-care costs are "whacking away" at the wages of working class Americans. Premiums for family health coverage have increased 78 percent since 2001. "Even though workers are producing more, inflation-adjusted median family income has dipped 2.6 percent — or nearly $1,000 annually since 2000."

So spare me Pollyanna Perino and her ilk. Too many Americans are losing their spending power—and their lives—to the Washington plutocrats.

Peeps Show

ESOTERICA

On this highest of Christian holy days it seems eminently appropriate to point out this paean to the holiday.

Bon voyage to DarLucky and C-Train.

The truth?

MANIFESTO

The liberal blogosphere is atwitter with the news that P.Z. Myers (but not Richard Dawkins) was denied entry at a preview of the creationists' latest cinematic screed, Expelled.

The episode is patently ridiculous and demonstrates once again how the holy rollers can't handle the truth.

This and That

MANIFESTO

At the end of one of the least productive weeks of the year (I've seen or heard more than one source opine that March Madness will finally push the US economy into a recession), virtually all the news has to do with the fact that Barack Obama is black—an item that apparently had gone unnoticed by the MSM heretofore.

It's exactly this kind of nonsense that's plagued presidential elections for too long, viz., Clinton's sexual indiscretions and, lest we forget, the deathless arguments that, yes, GWB is an idiot, but he'd be a nice guy to have a Diet Coke with. Glenn Greenwald frequently writes masterfully of the press's obsession with minutiae while ignoring issues that might have, you know, real substance, so I won't plow that field again except to say that I think, in my ingenuous way, that more and more outlets are at least noticing the real dangers the Bushies have wrought.

Who knows? Perhaps by November the voting public will understand—with no social safety net and $4 per gallon gasoline—that it really is the (war) economy, stupid.

On a cheerier note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to DarLucky as he hits the big 3-0!

6-3*? You've Got to Be Kidding!

SPORTING GOODS

Question: Is there a better sports website than Fire Joe Morgan? The answer is no. Is there a better website period better than Fire Joe Morgan? The answer is not many.

For those not in the know, it is a site dedicated to skewering bad sports journalism (which many of us know is in great abundance today.) FJM is a bunch of terrifically funny guys who love Bill James and his "statistics" and hate guys like Joe Morgan who rely on their "guts." I imagine when they read Michael Lewis' Moneyball, they wept. (Kind of like Cruise with Dianetics but with more baseball and less aliens.)

Here is perfect example of what they do. A week or two ago, some researchers at the University of Pennsylvania concluded that Derek Jeter is the worst fielding shortstop in the majors. Now, Chill and I have discussed ad naseum how overrated Jeter is. His patented backhand, jump, spin and throw to first would be just a regular ground ball to someone like Reyes or even A-Rod, the Yankees' third baseman. Just a plain-old 6-3 in your scorebook. But Jeter makes like a someone from Cirque de Soleil, demanding you to put a stupid asterisk in there to signify a great play. "No it's not!" we cry. "He just has to do it because he can't get in front of it!"

But Jeter does it all the times and everyone goes nuts. Especially Michael Kay, the Joseph Goebbels of the Yankee Information Network. So we dislike Jeter for this. (That and his four World Series rings, his good looks, his hot girlfriends, and his money.)

But John Mazor at the New York Post disagrees. Jeter the worst? "You've Got to Be Kidding!" he decries. Here's where my boys at FJM have at it. (Their rejoinders are in italics.)

How's this for junk science - even with three Gold Gloves, Yankees captain Derek Jeter has been labeled the worst fielding shortstop in baseball.

I'm so happy the New York Post is out there doing its thing -- being angrily, outrageously, passionately wrong about everything. Rare is the institution you can rely on day in and day out, but you can set your watch by the Post. Whatever time the Post says, you're guaranteed to know: it's wrong.

Gold Gloves are a m.-fucking joke. Although I've learned nothing yet about this junky "science" study and of course I will learn nothing further by reading the rest of the article (thank you, Post!), I already trust it infinitely more than Gold Gloves, because Gold Gloves are liars. They are no-good cheating liars, and I would not let my fictional daughter marry a Gold Glove.

But the numbers prove it, researchers at the University of Pennsylvania said yesterday at a meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, in (of course) Boston.

Yes, these researchers from the University of Pennsylvania meticulously altered their data, fudged everything they'd worked on for months, slandered Jeter and praised A-Rod, all because they had a meeting once in Boston. Never trust a scientist! All scientists are Sox fans! Post!

Post BREAKING NEWS: SCIENCE PLAYS FOR BOSTON!

Using a complex statistical method,

for nerds with calculators and pocket protectors and Daily News subscriptions,

researchers concluded that Alex Rodriguez was one of the best shortstops in the game when he played for the Texas Rangers.

This is an interesting finding. I wish I knew more about how the study worked. Just kidding: give me what Mike Birch has to say on the matter. Mike Birch works at Lids, the hat store.

"I don't know what they're smoking down at Penn," said Yankees fan Mike Birch, 32.

Take that, complex statistical study. Birch is insightful and funny. One time he sold me a sweet lid with the Under Armor logo on it. "I don't know what they're smoking"! Classic. Classic Birch.

"That's preposterous. I completely disagree. Jeter's a clutch player."

In one corner: "The method involved looking at every ball put in play in major league baseball from 2002 through 2005 and recorded where the shots went. Researchers then developed a probability model for the average fielder in each position and compared that with the performance of individual players to see who was better or worse than average."

In the other corner: Mike Birch. Watches three innings a week, occasionally while sober. Listens to Mike and the Mad Dog "except when they talk too smart and shit." Watches "Rome Is Burning" with the sound off. I.Q. of 175. Graduated from Cambridge University. Fields Medal winner.

I know who I'm taking.

"It's ridiculous," said fan Jay Ricker, 22. "Jeter is all-around awesome."

"I agree," said Science, 424. "Fuck me, that is a good argument. I might as well not exist. That's it. I'm taking 500 Darvocets. Humans, welcome your new overlord, Jay Ricker, 22. He is all-around awesome."

"Science plays for Boston." I love it. It goes on even longer and I recommend you follow the whole thread. When FJM stick it in, they really break it off.

My only gripe is they don't post as often as I would like. But I forgive them since my favorite contributor, Ken Tremendous, is an Emmy-winning writer for The Office. And he plays Mose, Dwights slightly touch cousin. Ken can really bring it. I mean, he just goes and goes and goes. And I'm always left satisfied.

That's what she said!

Butterfly

UNIVERSAL REMOTE

I was pleasantly surprised by I Am Legend. I was a longtime fan of the novella by Richard Mathieson and anxiously followed the long and winding road it took from page to screen. First it was going to be Ridley Scott and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Then Michael Bay and Will Smith. When I heard video/commercial/Constantine director Francis Lawrence was helming, I didn't have very high hopes. So when it finally came out this Christmas, I didn't see it for 3-4 weeks. I think I even used a discount pass to get in.

And I had a blast. The story was solid. Smith gave a real performance, not just a Movie Star performance. The dog was great. The secret, de-populating effects were stunning. The creature effects less so. But it was exciting and surprisingly moving, especially during the death scene about an hour in. I never thought I would choke up at a Will Smith zombie movie but I did.



SPOILER ALERT:

I thought the ending was good. It didn't blow me away but it was fine. I liked how Will Smith sacrificed himself. Very Bruce-Willis-in-Armageddon. Which for me is a good thing because Armageddon is a fantastic piece of guilty pleasure. I liked the colony at the end. The only thing I hated was how her SUV was perfectly waxed. I mean not a speck of dirt. She must have found a car wash on the way north. (Why she would waste precious fuel to run a generator to turn it on, I don't know.)

The DVD comes out in a couple of weeks and one of the bonus features is an alternate ending. Usually alternate endings are cop-outs. The hero lives, gets the girl, etc. But this is something else. I was blown away. To me, it gives the movie so much more humanity. Instead of the zombies just being zombies, they are now victims of a plague trying to hold onto as much normalcy they can get. It makes them so much more interesting. I only wish I could have seen this ending in the theater. I can only imagine how people would have reacted when she opened that door...

Luckily, you don't have to buy the DVD since it's already been posted on YouTube. I'd love to know what others think. Comment away.

UPDATE: Well, it looks like the folks at Warner Bros. are on to us folks on the internets and have taken down every single instance of the, now legendary, alternate ending. It was nice while it lasted.

Math is Hard

MANIFESTO

Here's what I think is going to happen tonight: Hillary wins Ohio. Obama wins Texas. Both margins are within a field goal so the delegate count is a wash. Obama probably wins Rhode Island and blows Hillary out in Vermont because those people hate hate hate the war and won't ever forgive her for authorizing it.

Hillary has a big meeting tonight/tomorrow with her advisers and decides to stay in it because they now have "momentum." Plus, she won a "Big State," as if that means anything. (Reality check: McCain is going to win Texas no matter what. Obama is going to win California even though he lost the primary to Hillary. The Big State argument makes no sense.) She throws all her chips into Pennsylvania and spends the next seven weeks(!) tearing into Obama, weakening him before his inevitable showdown vs. McCain.

But here's the thing, Clinton lovers. She can't win. She cannot mathematically overtake Obama's delegate lead even if she won the final 16 races. Newsweek's Jonathan Alter breaks it down:

...no matter how you cut it, Obama will almost certainly end the primaries with a pledged-delegate lead, courtesy of all those landslides in February. Hillary would then have to convince the uncommitted superdelegates to reverse the will of the people. Even coming off a big Hillary winning streak, few if any superdelegates will be inclined to do so. For politicians to upend what the voters have decided might be a tad, well, suicidal.

For all of those who have been trashing me for saying this thing is over, please feel free to do your own math. Give Hillary 75 percent in Kentucky and Indiana. Give her a blowout in Oregon. You will still have a hard time getting her through the process with a pledged-delegate lead.

It's just math, folks. And the idea of Superdelegates handing her the nomination after she loses the plurality of votes is nothing short of fascist. (And I promise I would be saying this if the coin were flipped. Fair is fair.) So I'll check back in on Thursday or Friday and see where we are. Hopefully it'll officially be Obama vs. McCain. Unless that little bastard Huckabee is still hanging around.

(BTW, McCain's middle name is Sidney! How gay!)

UPDATE (THE MORNING AFTER):
Ugh.
Alter is still right but the narrative has changed.
This is going to go on all summer.
Wake me up in November.
Ugh.

Garfield Minus Garfield

WHATEVER

The premise:
Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolor disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life?

The Answer:
A brilliant skewering of one of pop culture's most inexplicably popular icons.

I'm ashamed to admit that as a child, I worshiped the Garfield books. I must have had twenty of them. Thank God I eventually smartened up and moved onto The Far Side and Calvin and Hobbes.

Stupid is as Stupid Does

SPORTING GOODS

My boss is what I call a tolerable Yankees fan. I say tolerable because he isn't a blowhard (Red Sox Suck!), doesn't cling to past achievements in order to brush aside current failings (26 Rings, Baby!), and doesn't deify #2 ("Jeter's Clutch!").

So he is one of the few Yankee fans I actually enjoy talking baseball with. And he is hilariously dubious about the rise of Hank Steinbrenner in the wake of George's apparent retirement. What worries my boss most about Hank is he is clearly not a very bright man and is deathly afraid of people finding out. Check out these quotes (lifted Goeglein-like from New York Magazine's Daily Intelligencer):

• On new manager Joe Girardi's last firing. When asked if the club looked into it, he said: "I don't want to get too much into that, but we're not stupid." [10/22]
• On Brian Cashman's recommendations: ''The baseball people we have are the smartest guys in the game,'' he said. ''I'm not stupid. It's not like I'm not going to pay attention to what they say.'' [10/29]
• On A-Rod's contract: "I really believe that in his heart, [A-Rod] wants to be a Yankee, and we’re going to let him know he’s wanted. But we’re not going to be stupid.” [10/27]
• On prospects: "We want to win the World Series every year," Hank Steinbrenner said. "We're not stupid enough to think we can do it." [10/25]

Any one else here think Hank doth protest too much? Anyone that clings to the mantle of non-stupidity as much at him can be but nothing else.

Now, being a Mets fan, I don't go out of my way to read too much of the day-to-day crap coming out of the Bronx. But this year it was impossible to ignore it: Torre's uncertain status; A-Rod contract mess; battling the Red Sox to get Santana, then losing him to that other team; Girardi's hiring; the Clemens/Pettite P.E.D. scandal. The list is incredible. And there in the middle of it all is Hank, giving the press a blow-by-blow on each and every subject, practically in real time. I can only imagine GM Brian Cashman's trepidation to read the morning paper every day. When he isn't being chastened by his new boss, he's being cut off at the knees. John Henry and Theo Epstein up in Boston must be laughing their asses off. It's like Lee vs. McClellan. Sure the enemy has more money and more resources. But they're being run by a freaking idiot!

Then I read today's epic story, Oedipus Bronx, about Hank (and his Howard Hugues-like brother Hal) in The New York Times. Written by Jonathan Mahler (of Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bronx is Burning fame), it is, on the surface, something of a puff piece about the two brothers and their new working relationship. Bu to me it is a stomach-curdling account of easy nepotism and wanton incompetence within the organization that should give any Yankees fan trepidation. And it is a searing indictment of Hank, the son George never spoke to, the son that didn't last more than a couple of years working for the old man before running back to the family horse business, the son that was originally going to be passed over by not one but two of George's son-in laws. It also makes clear that if the George weren't such a chauvinist, his daughters would have been ahead of Hank in the pecking order too.

There are too many laugh lines to recount here so I'll skip right to the end zinger that is already making headlines:

Hank betrays no worry about...the Red Sox, who have not only won the World Series twice in the last four years but are arguably becoming a national phenomenon. “Red Sox Nation?” Hank says. “What a bunch of [expletive] that is. That was a creation of the Red Sox and ESPN, which is filled with Red Sox fans. Go anywhere in America and you won’t see Red Sox hats and jackets, you’ll see Yankee hats and jackets. This is a Yankee country. We’re going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order.”

I love this. I mean it, I love it. Red Sox Nation™ has nothing to do with the Red Sox' historic comeback from being down 3-0 to the Yanks in the ALDS, them winning their first title in 86 years, the Idiots, the bloody sock. And then them winning again two years later. This has nothing to do with the Red Sox capturing the imagination of the country. It's all just a sham rigged up by those Nutmeg staters over at ESPN. I guess the complete lack of evidence is proof that the conspiracy is working. And I hate to break it to him, but I live in New York City and I see Red Sox hats all the time.

To wit, Sox owner John Henry has inducted Steinbrenner, kicking and screaming I would imagine, into Red Sox Nation.™ "Just to ensure he knows how cool Red Sox Nation™ is, [Saturday] we officially inducted him as a member of Red Sox Nation™ and we are sending him his membership card giving him access to an array of options including our newsletter, bumper stickers, pins, Green Monster seats and a hat personally autographed by David Ortiz."

I literally can't wait to hear what Hank is going to say about this. I doubt I'll have to wait long.